If you Google "Why set goals?" there are a multitude of answers. However, most of them fail to mention that the benefits cited in setting goals are directly linked to an action, not the outcome. For example, one respondent said, "Goals give your life purpose." Agreed! But the purpose comes from the doing, not the result. Losing excess body weight doesn't give you purpose, but setting behavior goals that increase physical activity or improve the food you eat does give purpose. It's in the action that we see the purpose, it's in the action that we feel control, and it's in the action that we will get closer to the desired outcome.
Where to begin.....
The first question to ask is, "What do I want to change about myself, my work, my attitude, my health, or my spirituality?" This is an important first question. It's deeply personal and shouldn't be influenced by outside noise. If you use the words, "I know I should .....", then the goal is no longer yours because you are being influenced by an outside factor. For example, if you say, "I know I should lose weight because....", then this isn't truly high on your priority list but on someone else's, and so it isn't the place to start. Take a few days to discover what is genuinely important to YOU.Once you figure out what you would like to change, it's time to determine your action steps. HOW will you accomplish this goal? What specifically will you do to put yourself on a path to this goal? In this step it's important to be specific and reasonable. Setting a goal to exercise everyday is not reasonable because illness, last minute schedule conflicts, and weather are genuine barriers. It's best to set a goal for 3-5 days per week to allow for the "unknowns". You've all heard me say it a million times, Control the Controllable and the outcomes will likely follow suit.
- Specific
- Measurable
- Attainable
- Realistic
- Timely
Recently, I had a patient tell me that she was feeling stressed out by the goals she set. So we went back to the drawing board. She recited what it was she wanted to change and set an action step that she had more confidence in achieving. It's quite possible that this too will be the "wrong goal" but change is a process and sometimes the process takes time.
What's next.....
Finding a goal and the action steps to achieving that goal are only the beginning. Our schedules, environments, and finances are constantly changing. So it stands to reason that re-evaluating your goal from time to time is essential. Being honest about the barriers that are in the way of you and your goal, and determining if the barrier can be overcome are key. For example:
Goal: To feel more energetic.
How: I will walk at least 4 days per week around the block after dinner.
Barrier: Winter has arrived, I'm afraid I'm going to fall on the ice.
Am I able to overcome this barrier? How? Do I need to set a different goal for the winter months?
As human beings we are regularly plagued with negative thoughts about ourselves. It's easy to feel as though a goal isn't "good enough" or "challenging enough". It's easy to feel defeated if the goal isn't achieved. The hard part is countering those negative thoughts with positive ones. There's a fine balance between accepting ourselves for who we are, and in finding ways to improve and achieve more. When goal setting is personal, reasonable, achievable, and evaluated from time to time, self confidence and motivation will improve.
